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When setting out to write about working mothers, I reflected a lot upon my own mum’s struggles. She carried huge pressure to balance raising me and staying dedicated to the teaching career she loves, all while managing a chronic illness. This juggling act is performed by so many working women, and, while undeniably admirable, is also unfair and avoidable.

So, in this article, I want to explore the current situation for working mothers in the UK, and later shine light on the amazing strides being made to support them in an economic climate that is placing increasing stress upon us all...

The Childcare Divide: A Gendered Burden

There is a deeply entrenched and well-documented gap in expected child-caring responsibilities between mothers and fathers, so trying to strike the balance between parenting and professional progression is absolutely a gendered one.

Becky Savill, a working mum of two, said the same:

"It is widely accepted, and it is also my lived experience, that mothers/women still shoulder the majority of the childcare but also the mental load that comes with having children."

Having worked in HR for fifteen years, she also commented that almost all flexible working requests she dealt with in her role were made by women.

With an ageing population, Becky stated that this caregiving imbalance extends to women also having to look after older generations,

"This adds an extra burden onto women, who are working longer whilst caring for multiple members of their family."

I have seen these unfair expectations play out within my own family, but this is not just anecdotal- it can be seen on cultural level. This outdated default to women being primary caregivers is a difficult- though not impossible- view to change. It is imperative that we do this if workplaces are to be equitable for all.

Does Our System Fail Mothers?

The UK workplace is not one designed with caregiving in mind. In a culture that sets little precedent for supporting parents in striking a healthy work/life balance, motherhood can pose an enormous challenge for working women.

Becky acknowledged that there is a stark lack of part-time openings in highly paid, highly skilled roles: ‘Part time roles in HR, for example, are like gold dust.’

If this issue is not addressed with more gravity, this threatens many women’s abilities to thrive in their careers. Open and ongoing conversation, paired with real, structural changes will aid in advancing gender equality at work.

The Rise in Employee Flight

In the past year, there has been an increased risk of employees leaving their workplace. According to Bright Horizons’ Modern Families Index 2024, the risk of employee flight has risen from 38% in 2023, to 42% the following year, breaking a decade-long downward trend.

Second to desiring better pay, the leading cause in working parents’ resignations was a lack of flexibility around childcare. This signals a glaring lack of sufficient flexibility or support offered to working parents, pushing them to seek roles that can provide this.

Working Mothers Want to Work

This is not a case of working parents wanting to outright leave the workforce, but actively seeking employment that offers better childcare flexibility. Working parents want to continue working, they just need more support.

In her interview, Becky highlighted how returning to work after having children was vital in helping her retrieve her work-life balance:

"I suffered with postnatal depression badly after I had my eldest child, and I found that going back to work part-time had a very positive impact on my depression."

Additionally, she stated that her continuing to work set a good example to her children as they grow,

"I believe this teaches them about the importance of working."

Marginalising mothers from the workplace can often bar women from accessing all parts of their identity. I know that, personally, my career is integral to my sense of self. To lose that and be totally eclipsed by the label ‘mother’, when there is so much more to me, would be devastating.

The Impact Falls Hardest on Women

Bright Horizons’ index repeatedly recounted that this problem disproportionately affects women ‘on almost every level.’ The rise in employee flight occurred mostly in women, who’s risk percentage increased by 8% between 2023 and 2024.

Part of this can be explained by the fact that three quarters of the mothers said they shoulder the majority of their childcare duties. Over half of them have had to adapt their working hours to manage parenting, meanwhile only 27% of fathers had to take the same action.

I personally witnessed the stress placed upon my mum when trying to balance caring for me alongside maintaining her career as a teacher, even in a household with an active and supportive father. Unfortunately, pervasive social pressures are often inescapable, even for the most progressive of families.

Culture is Shifting, but Not Fast Enough

Thankfully, this topic is being discussed now more than ever. This is in part thanks to movements on social media challenging the notion that women should be the default providers/organisers of childcare despite often also working full-time.

Use of terms like ‘weaponised incompetence’ that point to this imbalance has skyrocketed on Google Trends since late 2021 and continues to increase.

This shared vocabulary is helpful in acknowledging the gendered nature of this childcare anxiety. Such awareness is crucial in identifying the problem, exploring its intricacies, and tackling it, but discussion alone is not enough - action is needed.

The Cost of Inflexibility

The repercussions of this imbalance cannot be understated. While flexibility helps mothers remain at work, it often leads to lower pay and limited career progression. Becky believes that, ‘had I not been part-time in my roles since returning to the workplace after having both of my children, I would be significantly further in my career.’

There is also a common culture of shame for women struggling with family-life balance, with many women reporting hesitancy to discuss this with their employers. Becky agreed: ‘lots of people still feel as though they will be judged as failing in their job if they are seen to need time off or flexible time to look after children’.

This stigma also impacts working fathers: ‘Men don’t feel as comfortable talking about juggling childcare and working,’ highlighting patriarchy’s habit of harming us all.

While mothers still report higher burnout rates and poor work-life balance, Bright Horizons also documented that fathers in same-sex partnerships and parents in ethnic minority groups are vulnerable to similar disparities.

The Health Repercussions

Physical and mental health consequences are also a huge concern. The toll stress takes on the mind and body threatens mothers’ abilities to professionally thrive. My mum’s diagnosis with Colitis while raising me and working full-time ultimately resulted in her needing to work fewer hours and pivot to other roles in education.

Having Crohn’s myself, we both understand first-hand the frustration of being unable to work to the extent that we want to, as well as the economic impact.

The ripple effects of such health concerns are also undeniable. I worried deeply about my mum’s medical and professional wellbeing, given she had to reduce her hours at a job she adored.

Similarly, over a quarter of the working parents spoken to in the 2024 index are concerned for the mental health of their partners due to inflexibility around childcare, and two thirds expressed concern for their children’s mental health.

It’s glaring that a lack of family-friendly policy from employers can harm both employees and future generations.

Education: A Case Study in Inflexibility

Growing up, I saw my mum worry constantly about being unable to spend as much time with me as she wanted – a guilt that she still recounts to this day. Education is one of the least flexible sectors, and 71% of its workforce are women.

This, combined with cultural expectations, creates a disproportionate burden on women in this sector who choose to have children.  

While worries about one’s children could never be entirely eliminated, these are exacerbated by inflexible workplaces. A more family-friendly system could hugely cull this burden and allow for working women to flourish both professionally and as parents.

Where Do We Go From Here?

While I enjoyed a mum who remained present and supportive throughout my upbringing, I still know that simultaneously raising me and working can’t have been easy. When I talk to her about it, she still recounts her mum guilt, but equally how teaching and her professional life are core facets of her identity.

It is unfair and limiting to expect women to sacrifice these parts of themselves when they decide to become parents, particularly when change is possible. While illuminating here the issues of inflexibility and and its very real consequences on women, in my next article, I’ll be exploring real work that is currently being done to support working mothers.

Organisations such as Bright Horizons are helping to make great strides in discussing this child-care gap and fixing it. Their research, changes in legislation, and the acts of individual employers are easing the burden places on women, allowing them to thrive both as mothers and as workers.

I hope that in writing about them, I can share the ways that we can all help to make workplaces more equitable.

A more family-friendly system truly does benefit us all, and, as insurmountable as this issue seems, hope is not lost.

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